My family seems to agree that a great use for Facebook is public grieving.
Yesterday was the second anniversary of my nephew’s death from a massive coronary. He was 39 and left behind a lovely wife who he adored, and four children. He was a good man. An ex-Marine, Corrections Officer, Volunteer Firefighter, and a Christian very involved in his Church and Community. He was the kind of Christian I look up to. I wish we had more pagans like him.
Early in the morning, the posts started coming. Favorite pictures. Odes to his wonderfulness. Last moments shared. Puddles of pain, gallons of grief.
By 10 am, I was a basketcase. I huddled in my room, in my bed, howling with grief. I ate an entire bag of Halloween candy. My blood sugar reading shot up to over 400. I didn’t care.
Sandy came in, and poked at me until I agreed to go out with her.
Then, that afternoon, my niece posted a picture of her mother’s flowers. The second anniversary of Janell’s death. That undid me again.
I don’t dare go to their Facebook pages. The family and friends tend to use them as shrines, and leave offerings of love and prayers of poignant wishes. It is rather like the candles and flowers left at a memorial site in the cities…only this is in zeros and ones that never seem to fade away.
Today was better. I constructed elemental altars in the circle in our backyard. I even started my first ‘pit-firing’.